Dialogues on-the-Go

Recently, I have lots of great conversations with my friends, my peers and my advisors. They can be bitterly discouraging, and also enlightening at the same time. A few below are the conversations that really made my day or frustrated me.

Conversation # 1: Lucy versus a future mathematician:

Math: Lucy, what are you doing lately?

Lucy: Traveling, taking pictures and thinking about what I want to do

Math: What are you doing in the immediate future?

Lucy: Traveling – to China, to the UK, to Germany, I want to see the world.

Math: Do you still want to be a scientist?

Lucy: Yes, of course. I see why not

Math: Why dont you do any research? You only travel, and waste your time on accumulating skills that a successful scientist does not need.

Lucy: Puzzled & shut up.

I cannot answer this last question because he asks the right one. Why am I not feeling pressured to pursue what I think to be my career: to become a scientist, to do research, to teach? Why am I so content with this world? Why do I feel in love with this world so much? I only want to see more of it, and embrace it in its totality? I only want to be out there, with people. What is wrong with it? Everybody keeps telling me that I cannot become a good scientist if I spend too much time on the road, too much time on meeting interesting individuals coming from different backgrounds. What is wrong with this picture? I suppose this lifestyle does not bring me money and success immediately. I am not angry with inequality; I am not anxious about poverty. I just love my life, and everything life has given me. I am too content with it, I not ambitious enough. I do not know what I want to do. I dont know where I will live and who I will become. I am trapped in an existential crisis. This question got me thinking about my future and my life.

 

Conversation #2: Lucy vs. a central banker (the banker is about to receive his master degree from a very prestigious university in the US) 

Banker: You know, I got three master degrees in both law and economics, and I cannot find a job in the US.

Lucy: (pondering…, he must want a very well-paid job) oh yeah, America is not good enough for you.

Banker: That is why I am going back to my home country, doing my previous job. Now I become a senior economist.

Lucy: That sounds amazing.

Banker: It means I do exactly the same thing as I did before. (laugh…)

Lucy: haha… So another degree buys you a new title.

Banker: So what is the plan after Germany ( Lucy will be working in Germany until August, 2014)

Lucy: I have no idea.

Banker: I want to retire. I have worked too hard, got multiple degrees. After getting my current master, I want to retire and travel the world.

Lucy: I aspire that plan, but hey you’re going back to work in the next two weeks. So save that plan for a couple of decades.

Banker: Do you want to explore the policy and law schools? I will show you around this campus.

Lucy: I would be delighted to see them.

 

This person is the most enlightening individual that I have ever met. He has child-like curiosity; his humor always brightens up my day. His insights made me to ask: what does international development really mean? How can a very brilliant individual is not doing what are the most helpful and most fulfilling tasks out there in the field? Why is he kept in a cubicle to write report and read newspapers? Will I be trapped in a cubicle doing what I hate for a decade of my life?

We walked and talked in this beautiful weather in Cambridge, MA. There is nothing can be more perfect than great weather, a good meal and a soulmate to converse with

Conversation #3: Lucy vs. a highschool mate

 

Lucy: So what is your advice for students from our high school about studying abroad in the United States?

Mate: Dont go… if you do not have the urge to find out what this country is all about. It is full of good things, but also the ugliest things.

Lucy: What do you mean by “dont go”? Why do you discourage people to see the world?

Mate: I do not discourage the ones who want to see the world. Many of my friends and family members, they are happy where they are. They want to stay close to their families, to the things that they know and where they grow up. It is their choice.

Lucy: They dont want to see the world because no one has encouraged them to do that. Do you appreciate the hardships and opportunities that the US has brought to you?

Mate: Yes

Lucy: What is the most memorable moment?

Mate: The time that I had no money, and I had to survive on my last $150 for a month. It was pitiful. I did not want to call my parents, to beg for money. I did not want to bother them. I wanted to prove that I am independent and strong.

Lucy: It must have been terrible, but you did manage to survive. That is what matters.

Mate: Hm… but still you can only come here if you decide that you’re very strong and independent.

 

I disagreed 1000% with my friend. I hated every single word that he said. I was interviewing him for a project. I meant to film him, and to make a documentary of a happy Vietnamese student who is getting his education in the US. He did not fulfill my request. He showed neither his eagerness nor his good intention to preaching the doctrine that “studying abroad,” and “seeing more of the world” make you a better human being. I got to understand that sometimes even if we have similar starting points, and similar backgrounds, we differ astronomically in what we want to do. I want to use my energy, time and effort to connect people, to make information available. He wants to keep it for himself, and feels embarrassed if things do not work out. I want to be honest; he wants to be secretive. I love my friends, and appreciate them a lot. But oftentimes I found myself disappointed by their inappropriate or un-mindful comments, or that my peers do not share my vision. What shall I do if I cannot communicate my vision with my friends, and other people? What does it take to be an effective communicator?

This beautiful light house is where the conversation took place. A beautiful place, perfect weather and even good foods do not always guarantee a good conversation 

  

Traveling, meeting new people and visiting old friends are always enlightening. That is the reason why artists and intellectuals in the 16th century embarked on the Grand Tour across Europe to see the real paintings, to meet other artists, to expand their knowledge. I hope in the next three months from late June to late September, I will meet the most exciting people on this planet earth. I hope to make a movie out of them. I hope to connect to more people, and make my life well spent and worth living. Let’s pack, and go.

Berlin for History Geeks

May 16, 2012 is the day for history geeks in the ASC in Germany program to ramble and to be tested in and about history. We dealt with different historical periods of the German State. In the morning, we visited the Deutsches Historisches Museum, which is neatly located in a vibrant part of East Berlin. Every Scottie agreed that the tour guide spoke excellent English, had a good sense of humor, and was very spontaneous. On top of everything he was a great art historian who could tell a story from a painting; he could connect history with what is happening to the museum collections. We can never find any anecdote about the descendants of Jewish victims who are now re-claiming their rights to their parents’ art collections in any history books. It reminds me of the movie The History Boys (2006), in which the teacher says that the current history is the forgotten history, or people only want to remember the distant past, not what has just happened.

Since the establishment of the German State in 1871, Germany has gone through many turbulence, and turning points in such a short amount of time. I realize that German history somehow synchronized with film history, which started in 1895. If somebody in Germany could create a German history museum through the lens of movies, it would be awesome. There exist a film museum and a history museum in Berlin, but why don’t we make a history through films museum?

The 90-minute museum tour really brought back to me what I learned during this school year at Agnes Scott. The Nuremburg Law defined by a biological chart. This graphical demonstration helped me make sense the definition of Jewishness that Claudia Koonz tries to clarify in the Nazi Conscience. I saw the beetle, the beautiful car model that I am in love with, which was the Volkswagen car that Hitler promised every Volk to be able to own one in the 30s , but it never came true until the end of WW II.

The Stasi prison was a very emotional and depressing place for me. I refused to take any picture of the place because it was very depressing. However, I acknowledged that I learned more about myself, my background, and my interpretation of an authoritarian regime than the actual place itself. It is traveling and interacting with the place, and people that really provokes my inner thought about my identity. Everything looked so familiar as if I had been into a place like the interrogation room there before. The furniture looked familiar, the torture tactics sounded familiar. On top of all, I realized the patterns of wall paper, of the floor. They look like what my father used for his tiny apartment in Hanoi 5 years ago. That realization and connection horrified me, and I was not able to take it.

In the evening, I had a wonderful chance to explore the Hackescher Market with a Vietnamese whom I interviewed for an oral history project. She was willing to share with me her childhood experience, her schooling, and her love to travel, to be alive for herself, not for her parents, her version of Berlin, and her version of Vietnam. It was not the first time that I have come to a conclusion that traveling with a local always fascinated me more than with a group of enthusiasts who come for tourist attractions. During this trip, I love the balance that I am able to manage: to both meet and converse with local Berliners and to explore the tourist parts with other world travellers.

Tomorrow, the group will travel to Dessau and visit the Bauhaus School of Architecture. It is actually the subject that Alex and I presented in class almost two months ago, but I do not remember much. The trip will refresh our knowledge, and helps us acquire some more information and will inspire us for some future projects. Then I will attend a gathering with the Vietnamese Community of Berlin and Brandenburg for the Ascension Holiday in the evening. Hopefully, there will be more thought-provoking discussions for me. It is my responsibility to unearth the truth, to record multiple side stories of Vietnamese immigrants, and to connect Vietnamese people around the globe. Hence, I take this project pretty seriously. I also realized that I love history, and I really want to get better and more in depth with it.

2nd

While burying myself on the ground floor of McCain Library at Agnes Scott to study for my coming history midterm, I reread some parts of the Testament of Youth, written by Vera Brittain. I felt so fueled by her determination and strength in intellectual achievement.

She motivates me to get through this week of midterm, and aims to a higher standard of academic achievement. Thanks to Brittian.

“If one had an original mind and something of ambition, it was not by poring over books that one grew and developed. One’s intellect could always take care of itself. It was one’s responsibility that counted, and that could be better nourished sometimes in active life than in halls of learning.” – Vera Brittain.

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